Infinity.3

I love how I can’t keep up with a blog for the life of me, and the only time I get myself to blog is to vent.

Spring break is two weeks for me, but even so after failing a chemistry test after two weeks studying for it I ducked out of my afternoon classes and took off even earlier. I went to the gym and did the elliptical for thirty minutes and then ran four miles (with only one walking break). It spurred the first week of break being, frankly, epic in terms of weight loss-I started this low-salt diet that worked great and went to the gym every single day, until Sunday hit. I decided I’d rather stay up late and role-play and watch anime, so I stayed up late, woke up late, and didn’t make it to the gym once this past week. On the upside, though, I’m 37 episodes into Boys Over Flowers. On the downside, I had lost five pounds last week and gained four of them back. Of course, I’ve been eating Chinese (the low-sodium thing didn’t stick, clearly…) and not having ‘gone’ since Wednesday. I won’t go into details, this time, though. Promise.

Tonight’s Anastasi, “Easter-Eve” as my American/Catholic friends call it, and that’s just about right. I won’t preach or anything, I only mention it to say it’s the end of lent, although this year everyone knew that because Orthodox Easter and Catholic/American Easter are on the same day-no, that’s not normal. For Orthodox people, there’s no meat or dairy or olive oil Wednesdays or Fridays or Holy Week (in my family-we’re the modern-Orthodox people). Translation: an excuse to eat carbs, peanut butter, more carbs, and Chinese food. I’m bloated and gross and feel the rapid weight gain, and my parents know it all. I didn’t email my weight to my father-it’s this deal we have. My mother claims to have disengaged from my weight-loss drama so my dad’s on duty, and his deal is to email my weight to him every day, meaning weight myself every day. I don’t mind weighing myself too much, but sending to him, especially after ‘bad days’…it comes down to pride. Complete pride, and power-struggle. Now, as the teenager, I know I’ll lose. I’m spoiled and completely depended on them, and there’s some summer-plans that are once-in-a-lifetime that are in jeopardy in exchange for fat camp.

I’m back on the bandwagon now. Mother had me write my self-proclaimed “Ten Commandments” within a red mini-notebook, which go like this, the words in parenthesis being my mother’s comments and words:
page1
1. Eat less (<- wait one minute desire goes away change thoughts)
2. Track what I eat
3. Go to the gym
4. Walk when not at the gym, meaning after the gym
5. Get up earlier
7. Look for chores needed to be done around the house (mom will help)
8. Avoid the kitchen entirely
9. Go to bed early ( :) )
10. No computer until after dark ( :) )
(Be Happy As You Can With This)

The next three pages are all my mother's additions, although the explanations are just me clarifying:
page 2
About Recovery <3 You Will Not be perfect all the time! 80/20 (meaning be good 80% of the time)

page 3
Stop Woe Is Me!! You Are Lucky (and beautiful) obviously, meaning stop whining

page 4
During Crunch Plan Out Meals + Work Outs –Be Realistic-

The last one relates to theater. For the next three weeks, once school starts again, it’s show time-first week’s tech week, second week’s opening show, third week’s closing show and strike. I’m an admin, so I’m supposed to be there so much, but I don’t know if I can do it. I’m taking a lot of difficult classes I’m already having trouble with, and I wasn’t able to keep up with my admin duties before the break, let alone how crazy these weeks will be. I might drop it-I can’t plan meals in advance, I don’t do the grocery store and I need variety and I like waking up and figuring it out by the day. And then I’d have time to exercise, I could run four straight miles that first week of break and I’d like to continue that (or maybe start up again, that might be the better term…). But I don’t want to let my co-admin down, or not have being an admin on my college app, because taking a bunch of advanced classes and having a close-knit family and trying to lose weight/be active and wanting to hang out with friends and wanting to do independent things (for fun and productivity) isn’t enough.

Oh, but just to update on the Fred Phelps thing-I wasn’t there on Monday and I haven’t heard anything, I can’t even find anything on YouTube recording it, so it wasn’t a big deal. At least there’s that little ray of sunshine.